“Are you avoiding conflict?”

Do you avoid speaking your mind because you don’t want to rock the boat? Do you feel it’s just easier to avoid some sort of conflict?

When you don’t take initiative and express your own wants and needs, then others make decisions for you – and chances are, they won’t always make the decisions you want! If this goes on long enough, you will start to feel misunderstood or taken for granted. Anger and resentment will grow and you’ll eventually erupt. You’ll be walking around your daily life unhappy because you’re not getting what you want or you end up feeling taken advantage of.

You are the only one who can decide to change this behavior! It takes time, but it starts with being active in your own life, and I don’t mean exercising, I meant taking an active role in what you do, what you want, and what you say…

Next time you’re asked what you want, don’t rush to say you don’t care. Stop and ask yourself, “What do I want?” Then, share it with conviction. Be ready to compromise, if needed, but at least get your true desire into the conversation! Meeting people in the middle creates great chemistry and builds trust. Trust is a huge component of solid relationships, in work, family or friendships.

When you express your true self, even when deciding on a restaurant, or a movie, or what time to meet, you are opening yourself up to living life to it’s purest and most meaningful. No, picking a movie or restaurant won’t give your life more meaning, but when you’re honest with someone you’re growing a true relationship, with yourself and the other person. The best relationships are the real ones, that’s why “keeping it real” can be so rewarding!

Keeping it real can be scary at times, because you may have to dig deep and risk something. Take the chance with it, the after effects can be incredible. The way you feel inside will bring you joy and peace in your heart and soul. And that is real and it feels good!

Go for it!

Carolyn “CJ” Silas

Personal Coach

(805) 295-9151